Monday, October 14, 2013

I want to talk about Saints Row!

Even if you don't play video games, you've probably figured out that Grand Theft Auto V recently came out. The fans...they're everywhere. It's kind of hard to avoid. I don't play Grand Theft Auto, but I am pretty obsessed with its far underrated rival, Saints Row. I love Saints Row, and with GTA being blown up everywhere, I've just been thinking about it even more. This isn't going to be quite a review, or anything particularly helpful or insightful...I just feel like talking about Saints Row!

Like GTA, Saints Row is an action adventure, open world game where a lot of terribly inappropriate things happen. Unlike GTA, Saints Row doesn't take itself seriously (and neither should you), making it the most ridiculous and entertaining game I've ever played. You are the leader of the Third Street Saints, as you work your way through missions and mini games to take back your territory from three different rival gangs who are all up in yo shit. And get money. You spend a lot of time getting money.

Saints Row the Third group picture
Your motley crew

The city of Steelport has Saint's members all over the place, but these guys are your main homies (no really, they're called your "homies" in the game). As far as fun and interesting goes, Zimos, that guy in the great suit and purple hat, is my favorite. He is Steelwater's oldest pimp, and before he joins your crew you have to save him from Morningstar's (a rival gang) human trafficking center (a BDSM club). It's disgusting but totally worth it. He talks through an auto tuned voice box.

There's alot of different ways to keep yourself busy in Saints Row. Of course, it has an amazing story mode you'll want to play through, but even after you save Steelport and become the swaggiest gang in all the land, there's still plenty of things left to do. Or you can just start the story over again so you can play through a different way (that's what I'm in the middle of doing now). It's just as fun the second time around, I promise.

Anyway, because I think everything I do is interesting and hilarious, sometimes I like to take screenshots while I'm playing, like these (click to enlarge, full size doesn't fit in my layout!)

Saints Row the Third Crashing the Party
Just crashing a party.
Saints Row the Third toilet
...and then there was that one time my head was hooked to a computer, and my avatar was a fighting toilet.
Saints Row the Third
The man in the harness just happened to be walking by, I swear!
That's the character I made to play through the first time. There's a ridiculous amount of character customization options, so your guy (or girl) can look pretty much however you want. My character is pretty basic, but there really is so much you can do. As you can see, mine has sweet dreadlocks and shutter shades. I was aiming towards a look somewhere between Kanye West and 2 Chainz, because...well, why not. I told you we can't take ourselves seriously ;)

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