Saturday, April 27, 2013

Confessions of a Terrible Game Stop Employee

I used to work at Game Stop.

When I sent in the application I didn't really think they'd call me, but I really needed a job at the time, I shop there a lot and I was applying everywhere else, too, so why not? A week later I was called in for an interview and I started to panic. See, I LOVE video games. If it's something I play I can talk about it for days, however, I've never been into many of the mainstream/popular games. I hate first person shooters, I can't get into the whole Final Fantasy thing, and at this point I think Kingdom Hearts is really dumb. I didn't even know HALO was about aliens until I started "researching" some recent hits for the interview...because it's something I'd never play.

Anyway, I went to the interview and it turned out they didn't care if I knew about the aliens in HALO or the amazing weapon customization in Borderlands 2. He considered the fact that I play games "a bonus!" What? Yeah. The manager basically told me I had a good chance of getting the job because they wanted to hire one guy and one girl; over fifty guys had applied while I was the one and only girl. Womp womp.

I started working next week. The first thing I learned is that it's really important to bug the living hell out of every customer that walks in.

Dramatization:
Customer walks in, hardly inside for five seconds when-
Natalie: Hey! Can I help you find something?
Customer: No thanks, I'm just looking.
Natalie: Oh? What kind of games are you into? Maybe I can help you pick something out!
Customer: No, it's ok...I'll let you know if I need anything...
Customer escapes, until they pick a game and meet me at the register,and suddenly-
Natalie: Did you find everything you're looking for?
Customer: Yeah, just this is good.
Natalie: (while looking up price) Are there any upcoming games you're looking forward to?
Customer: Eh. The new Dead Island looks pretty cool, but--
Natalie: Yeah! Would you be interested in pre-ordering? You can pay as much or as little as you like and (proceed to talk about special pre-ordered bonus content)-
Customer: Nah I think I'll just wait.
Natalie: Alrighty. Did you want to purchase a warranty for this game? (they never do)
Customer: No thanks.
Natalie: Are you SURE? It only costs $_.__ and it's good for a whole year!
Customer: No, I'm really ok...
Natalie: Ok ok. That'll be $__.__. Do you have a Game Stop card? (pray that they say yes, which they normally do).
Customer: Yep, here ya go.
Natalie: (finishes transaction) Here you go, have a great day!
              - Fini -

How annoying was I? It's ok, I already know. Eight out of ten times I didn't really do all of that, you supposed to and they would hound me about it, and if I had they probably wouldn't have let me go once my seasonal term was up. But really, HOW annoying is that?

One of the more obvious things you're supposed to do is convince someone to buy this or that game. Not once did I ever convince someone to buy a game I had actually played, and my days went by somewhat like this: 
What do I think of Hitman? Yeah, I love that game! If you liked the prior ones you will LOVE this, trust me. Can't decide which Sims 3 expansion you want? Honestly, those are both really good ones, and they compliment each other really well. Why not get both? If you don't like one bring it back within 5 days and we'll refund you! Looking for a racing game? Here, try Forza, it's everything you love about racing games ALL ROLLED INTO ONE. If you're not sure go ahead and grab Need for Speed: Most Wanted as well, you can never go wrong with a classic! 

Disclaimer: I have never played any of those games. I even own two of them, but no. Fortunately when you're a girl in a button down working at a video game store, they'll buy whatever game you tell them to. I didn't want to be a liar, really. It's just that no one really cares that Dynasty Warriors 7 is the Greatest Game of All Time, Lego games are much more interesting than your average puzzle adventure game, or that Viva Pinata is a lot more fun and challenging than it may seem. 

Sigh.